Last week I considered getting dreadlocks. I’ve never had them and never really known anyone who has, but I decided that dammit – I need dreadlocks.
This lasted about 2 days, after which I reasoned that I probably need more acceptable hair to attract website clients and to attract less attention in an airport. Score another one for common sense and reason.
Now that it’s been a week I’ve been looking back it and considering further. Why would I really want dreads? It’s questionable whether they’d look good on me or not, but the real reason became obvious: they symbolized personal freedom. A symbol that I have turned from the mainstream completely. That’s my thinking, at least – I’m sure most others have chosen dreads for spiritual or aesthetic reasons.
Interestingly, I’d spent 2 weeks being all crabby before this dalliance with dreads. And lightbulb went off (the kind that breaks after lighting, like Beavis & Butthead) and I checked wikipedia for a definition of … a mid-life crisis:
A mid-life crisis is an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over. It commonly involves reflection on what the individual has done with his or her life up to that point, often with feelings that not enough was accomplished. The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and may feel a strong desire to make changes in these areas. The condition is most common ranging from the ages of 35-50.
Ah – this is all making more sense now. I’d just spent two weeks crabby and depressed and bored. I wasn’t living the type of life I want. This was the first year I wanted to ignore my birthday (#35) completely. And I realized that I hadn’t had any fun with my kids in 2 weeks – that was horrible.
Obviously, things need to change, so here it is: I’ve had a dream of living abroad for years. Ever since I was 16. Trish agrees, and we’ve had our sites set on Costa Rica for awhile. Originally we wanted some place that was cheap(er), hot with lots of nature. Now we want some place that we can eventually have land for farming. We don’t know whether we’ll like it or not until we live there for awhile, but Costa Rica is the first choice. Later on I’ll talk about the why and how in detail – for now, I feel like I have a real sense of clarity, and I’ve got to get cracking on making the dream real. Make it happen before I, Trish, M & J get much older.
My to-do list:
- Determine the cost of living (conversely how much income we’ll need)
- Build up internet-based income for that purpose (I’m a website designer/dev)
- Make firm plans for a scouting trip (this October, by hook or by crook)
- Stay inspired (made a list of Costa Rica expat blogs to read daily, and I’ve been a member of a great Yahoo group for awhile)
- Write down the goals on paper (just like our pre-parenthood planning list)